I made this photo when I was angry. I am so sick of tired of relying on people and getting cancelled on, spending way too much of my time disappointing. So in an attempt to gain some control, I guess, I lost is and booked a trip to Oxford for February. I’ve caught the travelling bug recently, especially after going to a Rosie Hardy workshop alone in October this year. I found such a sense of independence and strength after struggling through train journeys, having to speak to strangers and dealing with uncomfortable situations. It was a huge shift to how I travel with someone else, where I definitely take the back seat and hide behind whoever I’m with. So this Oxford trip is a ‘screw you’ of sorts to being weak and relying on someone who lets me down.
Aaron was kind enough to take me to a vintage fair near me a few weeks ago, where I found this little miner’s lamp. I’d been looking for a photo to shoot it with, and thought it would make a lovely prop for this solo photo. So today I walked to my favourite place in the world (thankfully free of silly boys smoking weed for the first time in ages!), set my tripod up at a dangerous angle on a tree trunk and shuffled along this tree trunk.
I love self portraiture - but it’s hard. It’s fab mainly for what I mentioned above - most of the time I don’t have to rely on other people. I got sick of models constantly letting me down last minute or getting stressed out with never ending retouching, so self portraits are my escape for me. If it doesn’t work, it’s only me I can blame. I edit for fun and make one or two photos, and more importantly if I get no photos I can put it down to experience and leave it.
A discussion with a model where we arranged to maybe do some conceptual photos has inspired by love of photography lately. And to be frank, I’d quite like to practice editing so I know I can definitely do it on the day. So,, in the spirit of being independent, I have decided to task myself a challenge of creating a photo every day I’m not working all day, for the foreseeable future. Suppose this was a good start.